Dispositions for a good confession
To prepare for confession, it is essential to know the teachings of the catechism: this is the basic formation for every Christian. Even those who have already received this instruction in the past would do well to review it, because it is a precious aid for making a fruitful confession.
Let us recall some of the truths contained therein and other teachings that are very useful for Confession.
1. The two commandments of charity
1. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.
2. You shall love your neighbour as yourself.
2. The Golden Rule (Mt 7:12)
In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.
3. The Ten Commandments of God or the Decalogue
1. I Am the Lord Your God, You Shall Not Have Other Gods Before Me.
2. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
3. Remember to keep holy the Lord’s day.
4. Honour your father and your mother.
5. You shall not kill.
6. You shall not commit adultery.
7. You shall not steal.
8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour.
9. You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife.
10. You shall not covet your neighbour’s possessions.
4. The five precepts of the Church
1. You shall attend Mass on Sundays and on holy days of obligation and remain free from work or activity that could impede the sanctification of such days.
2. You shall confess your sins at least once a year.
3. You shall receive the sacrament of the Eucharist at least during the Easter season.
4. You shall observe the days of fasting and abstinence established by the Church.
5. You shall help to provide for the needs of the Church.
5. The seven corporal works of mercy
1. Feed the hungry
2. Give drink to the thirsty
3. Clothe the naked
4. Shelter the homeless
5. Visit the sick
6. Visit the imprisoned
7. Bury the dead
Remember that our holy Catholic faith teaches us that… as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead. (James 2:26)
6. The seven spiritual works of mercy
1. Counsel the doubtful
2. Instruct the ignorant
3. Admonish sinners
4. Comfort the afflicted
5. Forgive offences
6. Bear wrongs patiently
7. Pray for the living and the dead
7. The three theological virtues
1. Faith
2. Hope
3. Charity
8. The four cardinal virtues
1. Prudence
2. Justice
3. Fortitude
4. Temperance
9. The seven deadly sins and their contrary virtues
1. Pride – Humility
2. Covetousness – Generosity
3. Lust – Mortification
4. Anger – Patience
5. Gluttony – Abstinence
6. Envy – Charity
7. Sloth – Diligence
10. Sins against the Holy Spirit
1. Despair of salvation – To believe that God cannot or will not forgive one’s sins, rejecting divine mercy.
2. Presumption of saving oneself without merit – To hope for salvation without conversion (presuming upon God’s forgiveness) or to hope to obtain glory without deserving it.
3. Resisting the known truth – To deliberately deny or fight against a truth of faith that one recognises as true, for reasons of pride or self-interest.
4. Envy of another’s grace – To be saddened by the spiritual goods of one’s neighbour, that is, by their holiness or their closeness to God.
5. Obstinacy in sin – To persist deliberately in evil with the will not to convert, refusing repentance.
6. Final impenitence – To die without having repented, rejecting God’s forgiveness until the last moment of life.
Jesus speaks of a “sin against the Holy Spirit” that will not be forgiven (Mt 12:31-32). Theology clarifies that these sins are not unforgivable because of a limit to God’s mercy (which is infinite), but because those who commit them voluntarily reject the very means of forgiveness: grace, conversion, and repentance. It is a free and obstinate closing of the human heart.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (no. 1864) states: “Whoever does not want to receive forgiveness cannot be forgiven.”
11. The four sins that cry to heaven for vengeance
1. Wilful murder
“What have you done? Listen; your brother’s blood is crying out to me from the ground!” (Gen 4:10 – After Cain’s fratricide)
2. The sin of impurity against nature
“For we are about to destroy this place, because the outcry against its people has become great before the Lord, and the Lord has sent us to destroy it.” (Gen 19:13 – destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah)
3. Oppression of the poor, widows, and orphans
“You shall not abuse any widow or orphan. If you do abuse them, when they cry out to me, I will surely heed their cry” (Ex 22:21-23)
4. Defrauding labourers of their wages (not paying their just wage on time)
“You shall not withhold the wages of poor and needy labourers, whether other Israelites or aliens who reside in your land in one of your towns. You shall pay them their wages daily before sunset, because they are poor and their livelihood depends on them; otherwise they might cry to the Lord against you, and you would incur guilt.” (Dt 24:14-15)
12. The nine ways of being an accomplice in another’s sin
1. Participating – taking an active part in the sinful action
2. Commanding – ordering someone to sin, especially when one has authority
3. Provoking – instigating or giving a bad example to someone to the point of making them fall into sin
4. Counselling – suggesting or pushing someone to do evil
5. Consenting – approving internally or externally of the evil another is doing
6. Praising or flattering – praising someone who does evil, thereby encouraging them
7. Defending the evil done – justifying or protecting someone who has sinned
8. Not preventing it – failing to stop someone when one has the duty and the ability to do so
9. Keeping silent or, worse, concealing – not denouncing or correcting when conscience and one’s role require it
The fundamental distinction is between formal cooperation (sharing the other’s evil intention) and material cooperation (contributing to the act without sharing its purpose), with different degrees of moral gravity depending on the case.
The traditional list in Latin is: consilio, mandato, consensu, palpatione, adulatione, receptatione, participatione, taciturnitate, non obstando.
13. The five blasphemies against the Immaculate Heart of Mary
1. Have I blasphemed against the Immaculate Conception?
2. Have I blasphemed against the Perpetual Virginity of Our Lady?
3. Have I blasphemed against the Divine Maternity of Our Lady? Have I refused to recognise Our Lady as the Mother of all mankind?
4. Have I publicly sought to sow in the hearts of children indifference or contempt, or even hatred, for this Immaculate Mother?
5. Have I outraged her directly in her sacred images?
The five blasphemies against the Immaculate Heart of Mary originate from the apparitions at Fatima, more specifically the apparition at Pontevedra (Spain) on 10 December 1925.
On that date, the Virgin Mary appeared to Sister Lúcia dos Santos—one of the three Fatima seers, who had since become a Dorothean sister—along with the Child Jesus. Our Lady showed her Heart surrounded by thorns and explained that these were the blasphemies and ingratitude of men. It was on that occasion that Mary asked for the reparatory devotion of the First Five Saturdays of the month, as a remedy against these offences.
14. Vice or second nature
Often, we no longer notice our sins because, by repeating them, even unintentionally, they have turned into vices; they have become like a second nature. Most of the time they are acquired through socialisation, and for this reason they are sometimes difficult to identify. One must understand what vice is in order to recognise it with humility and find the appropriate remedy.
A vice is a stable and habitual disposition to evil, a bad habit rooted in the soul, a negative moral habit that inclines a person to perform morally disordered acts. In other words, it is the opposite of virtue: while virtue makes it easier and more spontaneous to do good, vice makes it easier and more spontaneous to do evil. It is, in practice, the absence of a virtue. It arises from repeated sin.
In moral theology, vice is considered a bad habit that opposes a specific virtue (for example, gluttony opposes temperance), or it can be a distortion by excess or defect in relation to a virtue.
Passions (like anger or desire) are not vices in themselves. They only become vicious when they are not governed by reason and will.
Main characteristics of vice
It is habitual: it is not a single wrong act, but a repeated tendency that has taken root in one’s behaviour.
It implies awareness and freedom (at least at the beginning): a vice is formed through the abuse of free will; the person consciously chooses to perform a wrong action, and by repeating that choice, it becomes a second nature that clouds reason.
It is born from acts: just as virtues are formed by repeating good acts, so vices are born from repeating bad acts.
It clouds moral judgement: one who cultivates a vice tends to justify evil and no longer recognise its gravity; it weakens the capacity for moral judgement and makes it progressively more difficult to do good.
It deforms freedom: it weakens the ability to choose the good and makes the person less master of themselves.
It causes moral harm: the purpose of a virtue is to perfect the person and make them flourish (εὐδαιμονία – eudaimonia, as the Greeks said). The end of vice is the opposite: it degrades the intellect, weakens the will, and corrupts the ability to love and to relate in a healthy way. It is a behaviour that, ultimately, makes one unhappy.
15. Sin
The sacrament of Penance—also called Confession—is the sacrament instituted by Christ to forgive sins committed after Baptism. Through confession to a priest and sacramental absolution, the faithful obtain God’s forgiveness and reconciliation with the Church.
Sin is any act, word, desire, thought, or omission against the will of God. It can be distinguished into mortal sin, venial sin, and imperfections.
Mortal sin
Mortal sin destroys charity in the heart of man and turns him completely away from God, who is his ultimate end. It kills the sanctifying grace that dwells in us.
For a sin to be mortal, three conditions are required:
1. Grave matter – violating one of the commandments in a serious matter.
2. Full knowledge – awareness that the act is gravely wrong.
3. Deliberate consent – a free and voluntary choice to commit it.
If it is not erased by repentance and God’s forgiveness, mortal sin leads to exclusion from the Kingdom of God and eternal damnation in hell.
Venial sin
Venial sin does not destroy charity, but it offends and weakens it. It does not completely break the covenant with God but offends Him greatly, especially when one acts knowingly.
Venial sin:
1. Hinders the spiritual progress of the soul.
2. Incurs temporal punishment (on earth or—much worse—in Purgatory).
3. If it is deliberate and repeated without repentance, it progressively disposes one to fall into mortal sin.
Imperfections
An imperfection is a good deed done less fully than would be possible, or the omission of a good deed that was not strictly obligatory. While not breaking the relationship with God, imperfections slow down the journey towards holiness.
Concrete examples:
1. Performing a good act but with lukewarmness or little generosity.
2. Choosing something good without choosing the best possible option.
3. Acting with a right intention but mixed with a little self-love.
4. Praying but with little attention.
5. Being charitable but with some desire for approval.
16. A practical way to make your Confession
Preparation
I place myself in the presence of God and ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten me, so that I may remember the sins that displease God.
Examination of conscience: I recall the sins committed since my last good confession—in thought, word, deed, or omission—against the commandments of God and the Church, against the virtues, or against the duties of my state in life. The examination is done with diligence, seriousness, and sincerity, but without becoming anxious. Confession is not a torment or a torture, but an act of humble trust in God’s mercy: it is not about tormenting the soul, but about freeing it.
In the confessional
I approach and begin with a Christian greeting, such as:
“Praise be to Jesus Christ!”—and I make the sign of the cross.
The confessor replies:
“Now and for ever!”
And may continue:
“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen. May the Lord be in your heart that you may humbly repent and confess your sins.”
The confession of sins
I state my condition: married, religious, widowed, etc., and how long it has been since my last confession.
Then, with repentance, I humbly acknowledge and accuse myself of all the sins I remember since my last good confession, before God and His minister. I specify whether they are sins of thought, word, action, or omission.
One begins with the most serious sin. One confesses the sin first, then the circumstances and the number—avoiding making excuses. We are there to accuse ourselves, not to excuse ourselves. Forgiveness always comes from God, not from us.
It is highly advisable to conclude with the words:
“I also repent of all that I do not remember or do not realise; I ask God for forgiveness, and from you, Father, penance and absolution.”
The penance and absolution
The confessor may give appropriate advice, impose the penance, and invite you to express your contrition with an act of sorrow:
“O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.”
The priest absolves the penitent, saying:
“God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”
I reply:
“Amen.”
The priest may add:
“May the Passion of our Lord Jesus Christ, the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary and of all the saints, whatever good you do and suffering you endure, heal your sins, help you to grow in holiness, and reward you with eternal life. Go in peace.”
I reply:
“Amen.”
After confession
It is advisable to carry out the penance received immediately, so as not to forget it.
To this, it is advisable to add at least one Our Father and one Hail Mary in thanksgiving to God for the forgiveness received, and one Our Father and one Hail Mary for the priest confessor—that God may always grant us to find a confessor, especially at the hour of our death.
17. The essential elements for a good Confession
1. Examination of conscience
To recall to memory all the sins committed since the last confession, trying to be as honest as possible with oneself.
2. Repentance
To feel sincere sorrow for having offended God and to sincerely detest the sin. Since repentance is a gift from God, it is necessary to ask Him for it with humility in prayer.
3. Resolution to amend
To make the firm decision not to sin again, accepting to do whatever is necessary to avoid sin, whatever it may cost.
4. Confession to the priest
To tell the priest all the sins discovered in the examination of conscience. This confession must be:
Sincere: without trying to deceive the priest—as it is impossible to deceive God
Complete: without concealing any sin
Humble: without haughtiness or arrogance
Contrite: without indifference, and certainly not with levity
Prudent: with appropriate words, without naming other people or revealing the sins of others
Brief: without unnecessary explanations or extraneous topics, except for relevant circumstances
5. Satisfaction (Penance)
To carry out the penance assigned by the priest, with the intention of making reparation for the sins committed. The penance is obligatory, as it constitutes an integral part of the sacrament itself.
18. Useful questions to prepare for confession
On your attitude towards the sacrament
– Do I approach the sacrament of Penance with a sincere desire for purification, conversion, and a deeper friendship with God? Or do I consider it something annoying, to be received only rarely and reluctantly?
On past confessions
– Have I forgotten or deliberately concealed any grave sins in previous confessions?
– Have I lied in confession, out of shame or fear?
– Have I carried out the penance assigned to me by the priest?
On changing your life
– Have I made reparation for the injustices committed against others?
– Have I made a concrete effort to correct my sins and not fall back into them?
– Have I tried to put into practice the resolutions made to amend my life according to the Gospel?
On the sacrament of the Eucharist
– Am I aware that, if I have a grave sin on my conscience—or even just the doubt that I might—I must not approach Holy Communion without first having gone to confession? To do so would constitute a greater sin, that of sacrilege.
On the Works of Mercy
– Have I neglected the spiritual and corporal Works of Mercy when I could have performed them?
Practical suggestion: if it helps, write your sins on a piece of paper before confessing, so as not to forget any. It is advisable to destroy it after confession.